Welcome Home Baby

When my good friends had a baby, I wondered if people still put those big storks in front yards any more. And since my friends were so far from family, I knew it was on me to not screw this up. You only bring your first child home once. And if there's supposed to be a stork to make it special, I better find out and get a stork.

Pinterest failed me. Big time. But one of my favorite blogs had a fun picture of a welcome home decoration for a newly married couple.

Side note to marrieds. After the honeymoon, you're not special. I'm not doing this for you. It's back to being about the rest of us again. If you have a baby or are a baby or go to Iraq or have your lady bits removed or something, I'll consider it.

I put together a "Welcome Home" bunting for the little guy. I used more sturdy materials than the one I found online because (1) I had them already and (2) I wanted it to withstand any gusts of wind, sprinklers or dogs. I'd hate to have them come home to a pile of wet crepe paper stuck to the door.

"Welcome home. I hope your baby doesn't need feeding or changing, because you need to clean up this mess I made for you!"

I wrote the kid's name on the bunting in real life, I just removed it here so you don't kidnap him or whatever. Everyone knows all you need is a kid's name and you can get him into your van.

You can make this. I promise. The imperfections are the charm.
1. Slice some strips of burlap and tie knots every foot. This creates bulk.
2. Stitched some fabric circles onto a thin ribbon. This adds pattern.
3. Tear strips of contrasting fabric and slice it up like fringe. This adds texture.
4. Cut some triangles, fold the tops over, sew or glue them down.
5. String them and write your message. Consider personalizing if you think they'll keep it. Consider it just saying "baby" if you think pedophiles live in their neighborhood.
6. Use string to tie it together in the spots you will tack to the door frame. Make sure to have some swag.

That last bit is just plain good life advice. Always be sure to have some swag.